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This is a work of Mazen Kerbaj - Lebanese illustrator & musician-
This is his wish:
Dear all,
if like me you feel you want to vomit every morning when you get out from
your home in our beautiful country, please do forward the attached drawing
to as much people as you can, asking them to forward it to other people,
asking them to also forward it to others, asking ...
feel free also to print it and stick it wherever you like/can.
thank you
Mazen
If you're Lebanese you would recognize the poster directly as it being a mix of the opposing parties' publicity banners…to those of you who do not live in Lebanon this is the translation:
I don't love Life
I don't love Colors
I don't love Black and White
Neither Grey
I love Nothing and No One
I don't even love Myself
We want to live in this Country!
P.S: All Lebanese people out there, especially in Beirut please stay safe
1. Follow them around the house..everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia.
4. Say everything backwards.
5. Announce you've decided to go vegetarian then when they throw all the meat out demand a cheeseburger.
6. Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling "the sun! It's dying!!"
7. Tell them you're horny.
8. Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house in your underwear.
9. Have nervous spasms at anonymous times.
10. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
11. Pretend to worship the Devil.
12. Stand over them at 4 in the morning with a HUGE grin on your face and say "Good morning Sunshine!"
13. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
14. Run in circles.
15. Recite a whole movie 3 times.
16. Pretend to beat yourself up.
17. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"
18. Slither everywhere.
19. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a retard!"
20. Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist. tell them you're making a fashion statement.
21. Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way.
22. If your a girl put up posters of naked women on your bedroom wall.
23. If you're a guy tell them you've started your period and are feeling fragile.
24. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
25. Lay face down and chant like an Indian tribe.
26. Try and climb the wall.
27. Spread out on the window and buzz, pretending to be a fly.
28. Take your ice cream cone and put it one your forehead. Say your a lovely unicorn.
29. In public yell "NO MOM I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!!!"
30. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.
31. Repeat anything they tell you.
32. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "oh...I get it!"
33. Offer to cut their hair whilst holding a chainsaw.
34. Whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal.
35. Eat anything obviously not edible.
36. Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
37. Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house.
38. Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people."
39. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!!!!"
40. Try and make the fish dance.
41. Ask them quietly "Pardon me but do you have any.." then yell "SHOELACES!!!!!!"
42. Tell them your ready for "the talk" & when they're finished look confused and say "hey... why not show me?" .
43. Tell them the doctor called with their results - they have an STI.
44. At everything they say yell "LIAR!!"
45. Plug a guitar into an amp, turn it to full blast, play it badly.
46. Hang upside down in your closet.
47. Pretend to be a phone.
48. Masterbate when visiting elderly relatives.
49. Tap on their door all night.
Why... Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
